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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201682">Remote Longing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingPirate/pseuds/ShippingPirate'>ShippingPirate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Straight Roads (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crushes, Disabled Character, F/M, Flappy hands are happy hands, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Insecurity, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mayday (No Straight Roads) has ADHD, Mutual Pining, Radio, dumbasses in love, dumbasses to lovers, may has exactly no braincells ever, zuke figures out the issue in like three and a half seconds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:15:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingPirate/pseuds/ShippingPirate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mayday realizes something important while on-air with her bandmate and best friend, Zuke.<br/>Why is her heart pounding so hard around him? Why can't she breathe properly when he laughs? Why is his dopey focused face suddenly her favorite thing to stare at?<br/>She can't help but wonder if she's getting sick.<br/>Or maybe,<br/>Just maybe,<br/>She's in Love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mayday/Zuke (No Straight Roads)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Remote Longing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for mayzuketober<br/>sdfjsklj<br/>literally last second i slammed so hard to finish this<br/>hewwo mayzuke discord i love you uwu<br/>the line thingies are switches in perspective :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In hindsight, it was a little depressing to think back on how long it took Mayday to actually notice. Scratch that, it was more than depressing. How dumb was she? God, she felt so bad for Zuke. Either way, the day she finally did notice began just as every other had. Another day, another underground concert, another talk show on Zam FM. They had gotten really big since the revolution with NSR a few months ago, even getting the opportunity to actually work as one of the company’s artists. But they hadn’t taken that offer. As much as Mayday loved the idea of fame and spreading her and Zuke’s ideology, she just...couldn’t accept it. Not after what she had done.</p><p> </p><p>Still, hanging out and answering their fans’ questions was the best way to relax after a long day of performing. It was nearing the end of the show, only a few callers left before their time on air ran out. As cozy as their house was, it was still a sewer, and getting internet connection down here was like pulling teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“Aaaalright, and this is our last caller of the night! Welcome to Zam FM, my friend! What is your burning question for the esteemed Bunk Bed Junction?”</p><p> </p><p><i>“Wow, it’s so amazing to actually be talking to you guys! I’m such a big fan!”</i> Even if the endless praise got boring sometimes, Mayday always thought it was a treat to speak to people who legitimately enjoyed what she did. She spent far too long thinking what she loved to do was wrong, so it was a welcome change.</p><p> </p><p>“Heya, dude! We’re glad you’re with us! What’s your name, then?” Mayday started, trying to get the conversation moving along before they ran out of time.</p><p> </p><p><i>“Oh, right! My name is Leslie! You’re Mayday and Zuke, obviously.”</i> Leslie laughed a little nervously, probably trying to think of a way to not seem like a nerdy loser to the band.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, what’s your question, man?” Zuke started, fidgeting a little with his drumsticks, spinning them around his fingers with ease.</p><p> </p><p><i>“Straight to the point as always, Zuke!”</i> Leslie giggled, oblivious to the way Zuke was rolling his eyes towards Mayday, the small quirk of his mouth betraying his amusement. <i>“Right! You guys are really close, yeah? You even live together! I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to know, but are you guys dating?”</i> In surprise, Zuke stumbled in his spin, dropping his drumsticks and letting them clatter against the table. Mayday laughed, turning towards Zam and missing the longing look Zuke had given her.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude! We’ve been friends since forever! Where’d you get that idea? No, no, we’re not dating! That would be weird! Right, Zuke?”</p><p> </p><p>“Heh, yeah. May and I have been friends for a really long time. If we wanted to date, we would’ve done it years ago. It’s just one of those things that aren’t meant to be, y’know?” Zuke laughed, picking up his drumsticks to tap a beat on the table. Mayday glanced over at him, and everything else faded out as she watched him swap seamlessly from rhythmic table tapping to intricate spins and tricks that looked deceptively easier than they were. The light from the ‘on air’ sign shimmered across his face, picking out features she had never looked quite long enough to see before. His red eyes shone with a sort of lazy focus, like looking out a window and seeing what’s out there, but not being fully aware of it. There’s something she’s never noticed before, a scattering of light freckles curling around his eyes and nose, little constellations she’d never bothered to look for, now shining in the soft sky of his face. He was laughing, she realized, watching his eyes begin to sparkle and his mouth curl up into that bright smile that always brought her so much joy. Her ears started to work again, and his gentle chuckles surrounded her, making her heart beat just the slightest bit faster. God, she loved him.</p><p> </p><p>Wait, what?? She loved him?? No, no, that wasn’t right. She had just gotten finished telling Leslie that she didn’t think of him in that way at all! And yet, glancing over at him again, Mayday realized like a slap to the face that she didn’t have any plans to be without him. She never had any thought, any inkling of what life would be like without him. He was a constant. Home didn’t feel like home when he wasn’t there. It was that shock, that realization, that sent her scrabbling from her chair, desperately needing some fresh air. She felt like she was suffocating. Everything was too tight around her neck. She desperately started tugging at her choker with one hand, the other flapping in distress.</p><p> </p><p>“May? What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Zuke stood up with her, using the table as leverage and leaning against it to stay upright. He gently took her hands in his and forced her to settle. The choking feeling remained, however.</p><p> </p><p>“Too tight!” She yelped, feeling as though someone was wrapping their hands around her neck. Zuke nodded, turning her around and unhooking the clasp of the choker. Almost instantly, Mayday felt like she could breathe easier, even if she was still slightly panicked. Zuke nodded to Zam, and he ended the show for today, despite the fact that they should’ve had much longer to talk to Leslie. While Zam was saying his final goodbyes before closing, Zuke snapped his drumsticks back into a cane, taking Mayday out of the room and gently guiding her up through their house and to a secluded table in the Hungry Hideout. It was pretty late, so there weren’t many people there anyway. Aunty took one look at them and placed a milkshake in between them, waving away Zuke’s attempt to pay her.</p><p> </p><p>“May, what happened in there? One minute you were fine and the next-”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I don’t know what happened. Everything got so tight all of a sudden. I’m sorry.” While yes, it was true that the tightness of her throat came out of nowhere, she did not want to tell him that it began with her realizing she was in love with him.</p><p> </p><p>He gave her a slightly stern look, his eyes concerned. Her heart fluttered, and the tight feeling returned, although this time less severe, now that nothing was touching her neck.</p><p> </p><p>“May…” He knew her too well, she realized. He knew she wasn’t telling him the whole truth. She had to rectify this, somehow, or else, he’ll end up squeezing it out of her and then he’ll hate her and never want to be near her again and he’ll leave and take all the warmth of home with him and she doesn’t know how to take care of herself how is she going to-</p><p> </p><p>“May!” Mayday blinked, suddenly back in her right mind. Zuke took her hands in his, gently tapping rhythms into her knuckles to keep her attention. “May, whatever is bothering you, you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. Just please calm down. You’re alright. Here, I brought my drumsticks up with me, you wanna see if you can learn how to spin ‘em?” She nodded, glad for the distraction. They spent a few hours there laughing and making dumb jokes, all while Zuke attempted to get Mayday’s calloused fingers into the correct formation to spin the drumstick. It felt like heaven. It ended all too soon, though, when she realized just how close he was to her, soft hands gently brushing over her own, and her heart began to stutter and pound, nervousness making her hands sweaty and her fingers to stumble. She started fidgeting a lot more, bouncing her knee and playing with her hair. She tried really hard to stay focused on what he was trying to show her, but the proximity was making her so warm that she honestly couldn’t focus on anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“May, do you want to go back inside? It’s getting pretty late, and I can tell you’re starting to get pretty restless.” Mayday nodded, willing to agree to anything that could get her a ten minute reprieve from Zuke being so close, just a moment to regain her scattered thoughts. She helped him up and they started back inside, Mayday first, as usual. It was normal to help him down, she’d done it ever since they’d met. He’d explained a long time ago, she’d tried her best to remember. Something called multiple sclerosis? He’d given her a really in-depth explanation, and to be honest, she’d had a really hard time paying attention. He had said it was really important, though, so she tried her best. He’d mentioned that sometimes his legs were stiff, sometimes they were loose and weak, and sometimes they just really hurt. She’d helped him through many, many bad days with his pain. He seemed to have an obsession with playing through his pain, saying something about being used to it? It was a little concerning. She understood getting sucked into her craft, really, she did, but that was taking it a step above even her worst hyperfocuses.</p><p> </p><p>He took his time getting down, must've been a stiffer day. She stayed near the bottom of the ladder, just in case. She grabbed his elbow and together they headed to the living room, where she helped him settle on the couch. Leaning on the arm of the couch, she glanced over him.<br/>
“Do you need your medicine? Or any pain meds? I noticed you were a little stiff on the ladder. Sorry for keeping you outside for so long, I know that can affect your legs. We didn’t have to come outside-” Zuke gave her that look, the one that told her she was overthinking things. Her mouth snapped shut, and she smiled sheepishly, stepping away from the couch to go and get his meds.<br/>
While her worry had distracted her a little, the fluttering and pounding of her heart still flooded her every thought, filling her head with the worst of the absolute best feeling. Before she could stop it, a sigh of relief flooded out of her. She had room to think, now. But first, Zuke’s meds. She dug through the medicine cabinet, trying to remember what the hell the medicine was called. Abruptly, she gave up and went to ask Zuke, her traitorous body tensing back up before she could make it stop.</p><p>“Zuuuuuuke!! What medicine did you want again?”</p><p>“Uhhh, the Interferon one, I guess.” Zuke had put his legs on the coffee table, having pulled it a bit closer. He was laying back, resting his arm over his eyes. Probably ‘cause he was really hurting. May hurried a little, climbing on the counter and making a mess with the medicines that were in the cabinet, trying to find the right one. Once she found it, she hopped off and over the mess she made on the floor, sliding to the fridge to grab him some water. She tripped over herself scooting back into the living room, landing flat on her face before she could correct herself. As she laid there on the floor, rethinking her life decisions and existence as a whole, she heard her most favorite noise in the world. Zuke laughing.</p><p>“Are you alright, May?” He chuckled, sitting up a little to smile at her misfortune. She peeled her face from the floor to glare at him, but as she looked at him, her heart began to pound at the look in his eyes. They glittered with his amusement, the clouds clearing over new constellations alongside his starry cheeks. His smile was worth every struggle in life.</p><p>“-ay? …...M-? …….May? .....May!” Mayday blinked, snapping back into reality. Zuke was frowning at her. What did she do? Before she could overthink that look, she hopped back to her feet with the nearly forgotten medicine.</p><p>“Sorry! I tripped, haha! Here’s your medicine!” She giggled nervously, dropping his things gently in his lap. Ignoring the look of concern he gave her, she turned and scrambled back into the kitchen, her heart thudding out her chest. Leaning against the fridge, she took a deep breath and tried to calm her heart. God, how did she not notice this before? He meant everything to her. She wanted to love him so bad that it was ruining her life. And it had only been a few hours since she realized. How was she going to spend the rest of her life with him if she couldn’t function if he was near? Sinking to the floor, she considered her choices. </p><p>Just tell him. Screw the consequences.<br/>
Pros: He might like her back.<br/>
Cons: He might not.<br/>
Don’t tell him. You can live with it.<br/>
Pros: He won’t know, so he won’t be able to reject her.<br/>
Cons: She has to keep the overflowing, bubbling love she has for him inside. She doesn’t know if she can do that.</p><p>	It was overwhelming, how much she loved him. It hit her like a single measure switch from piano to forte, beautifully fast and uncontrollable. It bubbled out of every crack, every hole in her mind, flooding her senses with nothing but him, him, him! She wanted nothing more than to shout his name from the rooftops, to tell everyone just how much she loved him. It killed her that she couldn’t just slam back into the living room and kiss him right then and there. Peeking out of the kitchen, she realized he was napping. Good. Glancing at him to make sure he would stay that way, she sped into their practice room, needing to just stop thinking for a little.</p><p>-----<br/>
Pulling the book from his face, Zuke glanced over at the room he just watched May run into. She was acting strange. She had never been this jumpy around him before. What had happened? Sitting up a little straighter, he leaned an ear towards the practice room, hearing her begin to play. The first sign was the song she was playing. Normally, when she sped into their music room, she drowned out the noise of the whole house. Today, though, the melody that was drifting through the walls was somber, silent. She was upset about something. He wanted to go check on her, he really did, but he knew that if he tried, he would crumple to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. Damn his legs! They always stopped functioning at the worst of times. </p><p>His brain was spinning with thoughts and connections and possible solutions as to why she was acting this way. What had happened today? They had gone to see Neon J and DJ, she was acting normal then, they had gotten lunch with Tatiana and Eve, a little awkward, but still pretty close to usual. They had spent the rest of the day at home, practicing a little and generally doing whatever the hell they wanted. Then they went to record with Zam. Come to think of it, everything was regular until the interview. That’s when May started getting red and zoning out. What did the fan from today ask again?</p><p>Didn’t they ask if the two of them were dating? Was that what was bothering May? God, what if it was? Did that mean that she liked him back? What if it meant that she didn’t at all and was just incredibly uncomfortable? He didn’t know what to think. He really needed to talk to May. If he couldn’t go to her, he would bring her to him.</p><p>“May!! Can you c’mere for a minute? I needed something else!” He called, easily yelling over the distressing music she was playing. He heard rattling, something heavy falling onto the floor of the practice room. Knowing May, it was probably her guitar. A minute later, May came out of the room, looking a little frazzled. She jumped over the back of the couch, landing beside him like always. He never understood why she couldn’t just walk around the couch like a normal person. </p><p>“What did you need, Zuke? I thought I got you the right medicine. Did I misunderstand and get you a different one by accident? Sorry, I’ve been a little stupid lately.” She kept rambling on and on, stressed to hell and back. Sitting up, he raised an arm, turning to her expectantly. She went quiet, her face relaxing as she curled up against him. It had been almost too long since they had cuddled. He missed her warmth, the soft brush of her breathing against his chest. It took her a little, but eventually, she relaxed, wrapping an arm around his stomach like she always did.</p><p>“May, what’s the matter? Did something stress you out today? You almost never act like this.” He paused for a moment, shifting a hand to run through her hair, gently pulling out the ties she had in all day. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I won’t be mad at you. I don’t like seeing you upset, May.”</p><p>-----<br/>
Mayday tensed against him, her heart pounding out her chest. Did he know? How could he have gotten it so quickly? The hand through her hair calms her some, but she’s still panicked. She can’t tell him. He can’t know just how much her heart soars, how warm and fuzzy he makes her feel, how utterly comfortable his presence was, how she honestly couldn’t think of life without him-</p><p>“May, it’s just me. I wouldn’t leave you for anything, I promise.” There’s a hand at her chin, pulling her to meet his eyes. It takes her a moment, still incessantly nervous, but he’s patient, rubbing his thumb over her jaw as he waits for her to meet him. When she finally brings her eyes to his he smiles at her, eyes warm and sparkly.</p><p>“May...please, you’ve got to tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing you like this.” His eyes soften, and he’s wiping away tears she didn’t even know were falling. She can’t take it, he’s everything she’s ever wanted. Draping her arms around his neck, she leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She didn’t have the courage to actually kiss him, but she hoped that he would get her meaning regardless.</p><p>-----<br/>
Her soft mouth against the corner of his almost made him jump, not expecting it at all. She pulled away in an instant, her arms still warm against his shoulders. He’s staring blankly, he knows. It takes him an honest moment to collect his thoughts, but when he looks down at her again, she’s crying. God, does she think he doesn’t want this? He couldn’t have that. Wiping away her tears, he slips his hands to her waist, pulling her in to press his own mouth back against hers. It was wish fulfillment, plain and simple, everything he’d ever begged for, screaming into empty oblivion, dropped into his lap.</p><p>Their fireworks erupted around them, shocks of orange, yellow, and red exploding behind his eyes. Her hands drag into his hair, threading and pulling as she finally explores deeper than hugs would allow. He’s practically suffocating, but he’d gladly die under the press of her lips. It’s her that pulls away first, gasping for breath. </p><p>“God-” She takes a moment to breathe, and from where she’s against him, he can feel the speed of her heartbeat. “How- how long? How long has it been for you?”</p><p>He chuckles nervously, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Since the beginning. You?” He slips his hand back to her back, rubbing up and down.</p><p>She smiled, burying her face in his neck, just so she doesn’t have to look at him in the eyes. “Since this afternoon, really. The person on the radio, the one who asked us if we were dating, they helped me realize just how much I was in love with you. I-I can’t live without you. I feel stupid for taking this long to realize, but I do. You’re everything to me. Just, jeez, Zuke.” She mumbled, getting warmer and warmer under his touch. </p><p>“Hey, it doesn’t matter how long it took. You’ve got it now, don’t you?” Pulling her face from his neck, he presses a kiss to her cheek, running his thumb over it afterward. “Everything can go back to normal, essentially. I only want one thing.” He stared at her lips, wanting to taste the soft fire of her mouth again. “ I would like to be able to kiss you now, yeah?”</p><p>“Zuke...I want to be able to kiss you too. But really, do we have to stay the same? What- what if I wanted to be your girlfriend?” Pulling her hands away from him to fiddle with them, she looks anywhere but him, her face so red that it covered up her salt freckles.</p><p>It takes him a moment to process, but when he does, he pulls her into a hug, so ecstatic that he gets up and spins about the room, ignoring the pain in his legs. “God, May! I would love for you to be my girlfriend!”<br/>
-----<br/>
She panics, yelping when he spins her. She enjoys it, she really does, but his legs aren’t doing the best right now, and she’d rather not have him crumble to the floor with her excess weight. “Zuke, hey! C’mon, yeah, I love you too, let's just sit down so you don’t hurt yourself!” She guides him back to the couch, snuggling on top of his chest when he finally settles.</p><p>“I really love you, May. With my whole heart.”</p><p>“I love you too, Zuke.”</p>
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